Sleeping Sardines

Mean Girls Inspired Burn Book Discovered in Drake’s Home

 

Authored by:

Darrel The Porcupine 

 

TORONTO, CANADA — The music industry is reeling Monday after a member of Drake’s squad leaked the news of the rappers very own Mean Girls inspired Burn Book. 

While it’s no secret that Drake’s music evokes major nostalgia for his listenership, it appears that the artist has taken the concept of throwback to another level. Rather than go public with his beef through a cleverly disguised burner account, Drake is said to have busted out the disposable camera and Sharpie collection as an old-school form of coping. 

“It was crazy doe, like, crazy bro,” the team member that discovered the book, who has asked to remain anonymous, told Sleeping Sardines in an exclusive interview. “Kanye, Meek, Pusha — all of them were in there. If dat shit got out… I’m not even finna speculate, for real.” 

Although Regina George is sure to be flattered by Drake’s version of an homage to one of the greatest films of the 2000s, many of the apparent victims of the rapper’s Burn Book say that the beef isn’t justified. 


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“I literally made a joke that my chinstrap was better than his,” Jake From State Farm, who recently shot a star-studded commercial with Drake, said. “Now apparently I’m in a Burn Book. You know, when my agent came to me with the State Farm gig, I said no. But he convinced me it would be a great opportunity. Now here I am, only known as Jake From State Farm. I wanted to be an actor, a real actor. But all that’s gone now.” 

Sleeping Sardines reached out to Drake for a comment. He did not respond — though our connections have informed us that Darrel the Porcupine has been added to the Burn Book.

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