Sleeping Sardines

Local Chef Admits He Never Should Have Attempted Risotto in Appetizer Round

Authored by:

Goldwit the Squirrel


NEW YORK, NY — Local chef Vince Schmidt has admitted that he never should have attempted a risotto after being the first contestant Chopped following the appetizer round. 

Schmidt was faced with a basket consisting of pigs brain, poison oak, iron shavings, and Everclear, naturally prompting him to pursue one of the most notoriously ambitious dishes in the Chopped Kitchen: a risotto. 

“When I’m in the kitchen, no one can beat me,” Schmidt said during the introductory portion of Episode 43, Season 84. “I worked with chef Crème Le Fois de Monsieur in Paris. No way my competition can live up to that!” he continued. 

Unfortunately for Schmidt, his adversaries were very much up to the task. 

“This is one of the worst things I’ve ever put in my mouth,” remarked judge Scott Conant, also known as king of risotto. “I hope you go home and take a long, warm bath in chicken broth and think about what you’ve served us here today.” 

Judge Maneet Chauhan said she liked the dish, but it just needed more acid.

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“It was tough, hearing that from Scott,” Schmidt said in an exclusive post-show interview with Sleeping Sardines. “But I know what I’m capable of and I won’t quit. I’m a fighter. The kitchen saved my life — and I can’t wait to prove everybody wrong!” 

Since Schmidts appearance on the show, he’s transitioned from the high-stakes world of fine dining and currently manages a very reputable Chipotle on the East Side. 


Goldwit the squirrel is a self-proclaimed foodie who covers lifestyle and animal interest stories for Sleeping Sardines. Learn more about him here

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