Sleeping Sardines

Local Poet Can’t Believe No One Is Listening to Their Podcast

Authored by:

Tushy the Gender Fluid Homo Habilis

 

DENVER, CO — Local poet Annalise Gunderson was baffled on Monday to find that her podcast — Thoughts of a Wayward Rhapsodist — had an extremely small listenership. 

Frustrated with her inability to monetize through poetry, Gunderson did what any logical person would do — tap into an industry showing significant growth. That’s when she took to the mic to talk about everything from em dashes to line breaks and anaphora to alliteration, before uploading it to all streaming platforms for everyone to hear. 

But when she checked her stats, she noticed that everyone wasn’t hearing it. In fact, only six people tuned into Episode 1. 

“Apparently not only do people not want to read poetry, they don’t even want to listen to someone talk about it,” Gunderson said. “They’d rather listen to Joe Rogan talk about looking at a tiger through a kaleidoscope while on acid.”

Gunderson went on to call the world “sad” and “embarrassing,” claiming that if everyone were a little more like her, maybe everything would be better. 

“I personally liked the podcast,” poet Daniel Chang, a former cohort in Gunderson’s MFA program, told Sleeping Sardines. “Unfortunately I could only listen to the first three minutes because I had to go promote social justice on Twitter — my last tweet got 18 likes!”


For No Poetry Podcasts:       


Although Gunderson has announced that she will not make another episode of her podcast, she already has a new plan in the works. 

“Here me out — Tik Toks where I read romantic poetry set against a Taylor Swift remix.”

 

Tushy the Gender Fluid Homo Habilis is currently in a very messy polyamorous throuple and provides stories about popular culture and dating for Sleeping Sardines. Learn more about them here.  

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